


Empty No More

by cmorgana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chick-Flick Moments, Dean Winchester Angst, Dean Winchester Loves Chick-Flick Moments, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Season 13 Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion, Season/Series 13 Spoilers, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26721424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmorgana/pseuds/cmorgana
Summary: Coda to 13x05/beginning of 13x06, what happens when Castiel and Dean are finally reunited.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	Empty No More

**Author's Note:**

  * For [babyara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyara/gifts).



> That's probably one of the most teeth rotting things I've ever written, but hey, we deserve a joy once in a while and Destiel do too! It's the first fic in this fandom in YEARS and the others I wrote I never published and it also is the first Teen Rated fic in a loooooong why (to balance that I already have a pwp ready to be edited and published)
> 
> I chose to use Cass, instead of Cas, to go with the canon abbreviation, even if I think I'll go back to Cas next time, I'm sorry if it bother you. 
> 
> You'll probably find some mistakes, sorry, English isn't my first language and there's so much grammarly can help with.

"Don't you ever do it again, Cass," Dean growled the second the angel broke the hug with Sam, pulling him into his chest once more. He needed to feel him, to smell his skin. It didn't have a real scent, and still, it smelled like Cass, something Dean could have recognized among a million Angels.

"Dean? What?" Cass asked, and Dean could imagine his confused frown, could almost feel it through his clothes.

"Die. You died on me too many times already. I can't take it anymore. Don’t you dare do it again," he tightened the hold involuntarily and felt Cass arms tightening in response.

"I'm sorry," yeah, leave it to Cass to be sorry because he got killed.

Dean shook his head with a small smile. He wanted to smile for real, to laugh, to howl at the sky or just scream that he got his Cass back, but he felt frozen inside himself, he had since the moment he had picked up the phone, heard that voice. His heart had skipped a beat and for a second he had been sure it was a very cruel joke or a new torture from some demon, but then the need to believe had taken over. And now that he was there, with Castiel in his arms, real and solid, it was like he was feeling too much all together to get any other reaction, to do more than desperately cling to the Angel like he was going to explode the second he was going to allow himself to completely feel.

"You were dead, Cass. I wrapped up and burned your body," the words hurt coming out of his mouth and his eyes stung with suppressed tears. He hadn't had time to cry, he hadn't had the strength to break down, to yell and break things for real. There had been a baby Nephilim probably about to destroy the world, and cases to keep him occupied and… he had kept himself from breaking down, knowing the raging pain was the only thing keeping together the emptiness that was inside him, blocking it from spreading and swallowing his whole world. But now he was still holding onto Cass for dear life, warm and solid and real, and the emptiness was already starting to feel like a whirlwind of feelings rushing into him. Like blood rushing back into frozen fingers. Warm, reassuring and painful.

"I lost you, I thought there was no way to have you back, I thought I lost you forever. You were gone," Dean repeated, lips pressed against Castiel's hair.

"There wasn't. I don't know what happened, I wasn't supposed to…"

"I don't care what happened, I don't care whatever fucking price I'll have to pay for it," he felt tears finally sliding down his face, breath forcing his throat to come out, broken, "after everything, now I know the only thing I can't face is losing you," he confessed with a pang of pain in his chest.

Guilt had tortured him for days now, because he should have felt worse for his mother, probably dead, maybe stranded in an apocalyptic world with Lucifer, but he hadn't been able to fully feel it, not while the image of Cass' body had kept appearing in front of his eyes. Mom should have been more important, but apparently to his heart he now had a different kind of family, one that had just been taken from him.

"Dean?" Sam whispered touching his back lightly, "we should go," his voice was uncertain like he felt bad at having to ask to break the hug, but Dean got it. It wasn't the best idea to stay there, they had no idea if Castiel's return from the dead had given signs if demons or who knew who was on them. They had Jack and everyone knew and wanted him.

"Coming," he answered, but didn't break the embrace for long seconds. When he did he gulped and kept one hand still on the angel's shoulder, "you're coming with us, right?" He asked in a breath. He was terrified. He had faced the worst things, been in Hell, but he was sure he had never been so scared before.

"Yes, Dean. I'm not gonna leave you again," Castiel said with a tired smile. His face was wet too.

To Dean, it felt like he could start to breathe again as if his chest could finally fill with air after days. Castiel was back and his again.

"Sam, would you mind driving?" He asked, ignoring his brother's raised eyebrow. It was true, he had driven through anything, he had never lost control over himself, not when it had been about driving, but now he was shaking too much, his head too all over the place to even think about how to shift gears.

The keys still in the car, both brothers just stood while watching Castiel approach the car, climb in the back. In his place. With them, on the Impala.

"He really is back," Sam said and Dean knew how happy and relieved he was too, "how is it even possible?"

"I don't care. We have him back, everything is gonna be fine," Sam smiled at that, patting his brother's back.

"Why don't you climb in the back with him? There's a motel a few minutes from here."

"Dean Winchester doesn't travel in the back seat of his car," Dean scoffed, disgusted at the idea.

"So you're ready to lose him from your sight for a few minutes?" And that, that was Sam teasing him, and damn if Dean wasn't going to make him pay. Mostly because he was right and he hated when that happened. He was the older brother, he should have been always right.

"Bitch," he grunted while opening the car door.

"Jerk," Sam answered, smiling and watching Dean scoot to sit against Castiel, their legs touching.

*

It was another cheap motel room, dark red bedspreads, plastic chairs and a dusty wallpaper out of the 80s, yet nothing had felt cosier to Dean in a long time.

He was against chick flick moments, but apparently, he had lived the past hour like he was straight out of a teen movie for girls, so he could at least admit to himself that with Cass near him even that crappy place could feel home-y.

"I'm sorry about Mary," Castiel broke the relaxed silence while sitting on the bed near Dean. He nodded his thanks and Castiel continued, "Lucifer may have a use for her, and if there's someone who can survive in that place is Mary."

"Sam thinks the same and I've been an asshole about it," Dean confessed. He was feeling guilty about that, he had for days, but, after all, there was very little he didn't feel guilty about, especially lately.

"He's strong enough to believe for the both of you," Castiel offered. He didn't try to change Dean's mind, nor to scold him and Dean slightly raised the corner of his mouth. Sam was. He could have faith for both of them, he had had it for the past weeks about everything, while Dean had been barely able to function.

"We…" he started, moved to look at the floor and started again, "I lost everything, everyone, even Crowley. I just stopped caring, Cass. I stopped having faith that things could adjust, that we could save the world again, that we could contain Jack. I was an empty shell, going over the motions just for Sam," Dean felt his eyes burn with tears again, but didn't care, "I lost so much in the past, I lost everyone I had. Dad, Bobby, Sam even you. Lisa. But it never felt like that, it never felt like there wasn't a reason to get back up. I only wanted to die, Cass, even Hell or the Empty I was threatened to be dropped in, felt like better alternatives to the painful nothing I had inside, but apparently not even that was an option," he tormented his bottom lip between nervous teeth before turning toward the angel, "and now I know. I can face losing everything, everyone, but I can't take losing you, Cass. Not anymore, I can no longer go on without you," he searched for the blue eyes, locking their gazes, "I died the moment I saw you lying there, lifeless," the last words of the confession were almost whispered, slow, and Dean didn't even blink, more tears pooling in his eyes.

"When I woke up," Castiel started before Dean could say more, voice lower and rougher than usual, yet uncertain, "it was dark and scary but my first thought was that I needed to get back, I told whatever that creature was that you and Sam needed me, I told myself that I needed to come back to help you with the huge fights ahead, but what I was too scared to admit was that I wanted back because I needed you. I love Sam, but it never was about him. Or the fight. I just couldn't think of being dead or being stuck there forever simply because you weren't there. I had to come back to you and I must confess there was little selflessness about it, as an Angel I failed again because that need was driven by my own desires and needs," he smiles sadly, averting his gaze, but Dean shook his head.

"Cass, I've met my share of angels, and demons and whatever else and you are the most selfless creature I've ever met. Everything you did, even the most messed up things, you did to help, to be better. And maybe to redeem yourself, but always through good, through what you thought was the best thing," Castiel scoffed.

"Lots of good it did."

"Right, because you wanted to come back to someone who never messed up. Who never messed up in an Apocalyptic way, I'd add," he smiled, almost laughed a little because today even that felt like a joke, even everything he had done in the past felt like it was forgivable.

Today felt like everything was possible and like even Dean Winchester could cut himself some slack and just be happy. He would have had time tomorrow to go back to feeling guilty.

"I guess you'd say we're both hot messes?" Castiel tried the words carefully like he was expecting to say something wrong and non-sense and this time Dean laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"I love you, Cass," he said, no brain-mouth filter.

"I love you too, Dean," the angel was quick to say back and Dean knew he could leave it like that, he probably should, he shouldn't have said it in the first place, but now he couldn't take it back, the words felt like fire in his throat and he needed to spit it out.

"No, Cass. I mean I love you. Not like everyone else, I love you like…. Like I need you, I love you as a lot more than the Angel on my shoulder than my best friend," he was shaking, he could feel his hands cold and sweaty in his lap, restless, like they had a need of their own to grab Castiel by his stupid trench coat and pull him in.

"Yes, Dean. I know. It has nothing to do with being an angel or your friend or even part of your family. It hadn't for a long time now. I love you, a kind of love angels aren't supposed to feel or know. The most human of loves and also the most precious," Dean nodded, slow and cautious, trying to get everything Cass was saying, to wrap his head around something so huge.

No, not huge because an Angel of the Lord had deflected, fought, killed his own brothers for a human, but because he was that human. Dean felt like he was barely enough to be loved by Sam, by his mom, they sort of had to, blood and all, but Cass was something so huge, a creature so incredible and powerful that would burn his eyes out just by giving him a glance of his true self, and still he had given up everything just to love him. It felt incredible, it felt like too much, but Dean knew Cass' words were true, he knew his angel would never lie about something like that or say it in the heat of the moment.

"Cass, can I have you now? Like for real, can you stop running and hiding and fighting and just be mine?" Dean asked in a rush, eyes down, still busy to look at his hands. His heart was beating so hard and fast it almost hurt in his chest and it felt like something was constricting his lungs, keeping him from breathing. Odd, he had had all kinds of creatures do that to him in the past, squishing his internal organs, and yet it had never felt so unbearable.

"I never ran from you, Dean," Cass replied and turned Dean’s face gently, a hand on his cheek, "I ran for you. To make things better, to look less of a failure in your eyes, to take the weight off your shoulders," he rubbed Dean's cheek with a thumb and the man pressed his face against it, hungry for the touch, for the warmth, "I only added to it, instead, I'm sorry. But I promise I won't let you down again."

"I don't care. You messed up, I messed up, everyone does, all I need is you with me. We can fail together," he smiled at Cass, then turned slightly to kiss his palm, lips lingering against the warm skin.

"Dean? I've been around long enough to know this would be the moment you kiss me," Castiel said, voice rough and a little nervous, but his eyes trained on the pink, wet lips pressing against his skin.

"Needy and bossy? I may like this," Dean teased because that was what he did, but his eyes were soft when they met Castiel's.

He gently palmed the angel's face, mirroring his pose, feeling the warmth, the weight of Castiel leaning against it and pressing against the caress. Dean moved slowly, getting closer and closer, watching the plump pink lips he was about to kiss but also giving Castiel time to change his mind.

"Stop thinking," Cass growled after a few seconds and this time he grabbed Dean by the front of his shirt and pulled him in, lips pressing against each other.

Dean tensed for a moment at the touch. Years of wanting, of pining, were ending right that second with that simple press of lips on lips. Warm and chapped lips suddenly erasing all the pain, all the sorrow that for so long had pushed him on his knees. But then they were just lips. Castiel’s lips. His taste, his scent, his touch, everything Dean had craved for long before admitting it.

The hunter gulped, then letting out a small sigh before he opened his mouth, relaxing into the touch, starting to kiss Castiel. His Castiel, his Angel, the one who raised him from perdition in every way Dean could imagine.

It felt like the whole existence started and ended at that single point of contact between them, like too much and not enough, and with a desperate moan, Dean grabbed the trench coat lapels and pulled Castiel even closer, enough to feel their hearts beat the same thumping rhythm in their chests.

“I fucking love you,” Dean murmured with his remaining breath, panting for a few seconds before he could attack those luscious lips again, his tongue caressing them, slipping just inside, between them, before going back to trace them again.

“I love you too,” Castiel repeated, even his breath getting out in short puffs, and the words made Dean’s heart swell even more.

Dean let himself fall back, the hold on Cass’ collar still tight enough to pull the angel down with him. He moaned, open and unashamed when he felt the weight of the other body over him, real and solid, everything he had ever needed. Without breaking the kiss he moved a hand to grab Castiel’s hair, turning the kiss into something hotter, more intimate and sensual.

*

“You could have sent a text or something!” Sam protested the second he opened the motel door, dramatically raising a hand in front of his face, “now I want to bleach my eyes!” he added in a lower voice, laughing.

“Sorry, he fell asleep and I didn’t want to wake him,” Castiel said, uncertain of what he was supposed to do in that kind of situation. He had covered both himself and Dean up to the neck before Sam could come back, but he knew humans, and especially the Winchester, didn’t appreciate public displays of affection and even less of sex. Castiel presumed that both being naked and a very dishevelled Dean sleeping on his chest were clues of their previous fornication.

“It’s okay, I think he didn’t sleep in days,” Sam said, smiling fondly, but Castiel frowned.

“How bad did he go?”

“For a moment I was seriously scared he was too far gone for even me being able to reach for him again,” Sam admitted with a pained sigh. He dropped the jacket on a chair, moving to the free bed, “so, I guess you know now you’ll have to stay or you’ll break him for good,” it was a statement, but Cass knew it also was the biggest threat he had ever got.

“I should have stayed before too. Sam, you’re family and I swore to protect you, and now Jack, with my life,” Sam nodded, lips pressed together, “but Dean...our bond has nothing to do with Hell or Heaven, I just have a personal need to share every day of my life with your brother,” Sam raised the corner of his mouth, then chuckled.

“Good luck with that, you’ll soon learn that it will take more patience than even an Angel can find.”

“Don’t you think I already know?” Castiel laughed a little too.

“Then you really are stupid and suicidal enough to be a Winchester.”


End file.
